Satire

“Just dropped off a jar of this to my neighbor and she called 10 minutes later saying she needed the recipe!”

This festive and creamy spread combines the tanginess of cranberry sauce with the richness of cream cheese and whipped cream. It’s perfect for holiday breakfasts, brunches, or as a delightful dip.

Ingredients:

IngredientQuantity
Cream Cheese (softened)2 (8 oz) packages
Heavy Whipping Cream (chilled)¾ cup
Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce½ cup
Fresh Orange Zest1 teaspoon

Instructions:

  1. Smooth Cream Cheese: Place the softened cream cheese in a large mixing bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese until completely smooth.
  2. Combine with Heavy Cream: Pour the chilled heavy whipping cream into the bowl with the cream cheese. Mix until fully combined.
  3. Chill Mixture: Cover the bowl and refrigerate the cream cheese mixture for 30 minutes.
  4. Whip to Stiff Peaks: After 30 minutes, remove the bowl from the refrigerator. Using the electric mixer, beat the cream mixture until stiff peaks form.
  5. Fold in Cranberry and Zest: Gently fold in the whole berry cranberry sauce and fresh orange zest until just combined. Be careful not to overmix.
  6. Transfer and Refrigerate: Transfer the spread to an airtight container or jar. Refrigerate until ready to use.
  7. Serve: Serve the Christmas & Cream Spread on toast, English muffins, waffles, or as a dip for fruit. Enjoy!

Written by Chris Jorge

Chris is an author with a keen interest in space exploration and a flair for satirical commentary. Their extensive writing covers the latest breakthroughs in astronomy and astrophysics, as well as ongoing missions to explore our solar system and beyond. Besides their work on space topics, Chris is renowned for their satirical pieces, which often offer a humorous and irreverent take on modern issues and events. This distinctive combination of science and humor has garnered them a loyal following and numerous awards. When not writing, Chris enjoys stargazing with their telescope or perfecting their comedic talent at local open mic nights.

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